Motivation

I guess in a way its fairly funny for me to be writing this, I am going to write (a little) about motivation or rather my recent (last 2 days) lack of it... And my blog is one of the things i find it hardest to want to do (but ironically i want to today)...
The last few days i have had a fair bit to do... which is good... But the bad bit is that i haven't had very much motivation to get any of it done...
This week i have needed to re-edit a bunch of videos and set up the play list for the place: next step in Torva, We decided to take the same show but with a new name and image to bless the youth work which we have some links to...
Using the same programme is great... it means the play list will be real simple.. as soon as i get the rest of the stuff all edited and compressed.. which i now have about 8hours to get done.. (That would be 8hours without any sleep) I got a little bit done today but it took 3 days to decide to do it...
So yeah early morning tomorrow... no wait.. today! we are heading out to Torva to do some promo in school to try and whip up a crowd for the event in the evening..
The good news... (and at the same time the bad news for my bank balance) is that i booked some flights to go out to Sweden to visit Maarja for a week so i will be going straight up to Tallinn after the event and early Friday morning flying out then getting familiar with Swedish public transport for a while and in the afternoon seeing Maarja :D
So for the next week i will be working on a ship in Sweden..
Prayer points then... Motivation obviously and energy... Pray that everything comes out well at the show and that i make it to Sweden safely and i don't get lost between one of my 10 minute train connections... Also keep praying about my finances my overdraft is pretty much finished now and although i have been blessed to receive some financial support which is absolutely incredible and i couldn't be going to Sweden without it.. my finances are still going to be at a stretch to keep me fed until i go home.. (and yes even when you are my size you still need to eat)
God Bless and please feel free to give me any tips for getting motivated when your mind is stuck on other things...
Thanks

Paul Davidson

the background image which the slides are based on for the event tomorrow... courtesy of Mihkel Peterson

Epic blog - Part one - This blog is like a typical English bus… you wait around ages for one and then 3 turn up at the same time…

Hey, so sorry to everyone who feels a little bit left in the dark about how things are and what I have been up to the last few weeks it was my intention to keep this up to date and flowing this time so that if and when you got that I” wonder what Paul has been up to feeling”(not 100% confirmed to exist) you could pop over and find out what I need prayer for and how our prayers had been answered..

Long story short the reason I have not been online is absolutely, breathtakingly, gobsmackingly brilliant but I am going to explain that in epic-blog part 2 (sorry) this part (part 1) is to let you know what I have been up to “work” wise and just in terms of life in general..

• 23^rd Friday night youth meeting sang in worship team
• 24^th my memory is a bit foggy but I think I just chilled in Pärnu
• 25^th Sunday meeting sang in worship and went to meet with lots of English people over from England in Tallinn
• 26^th I think I hung out with the English girls showed them the sites a little and helped them change money
• 27^th Handed out fliers with English girls ready for the place
• 28^th As Tuesday but with worship practice in the evening
• 29^th lots of last minute play list tweaking ready for “The Place”, full practice/run through and sound set up at church
• 30^th lots of post practice tweaking on videos for “The Place” (big youth outreach) which went great 2 people got saved everything went smoothly for a change BoB played all round good fun
• 31^st relaxed a little and slept in hung out with the band a bit and Maarja a bit then traveled to Turi for another gig there which went well had lots of fun despite having a sound tech nightmare the show was well received and we prayed for everyone at the end
• 1^st lead worship at church, ate and rested
• 2^nd Took English girls back to Tallinn on the bus showed them the city a bit then took them to check in, after check in I hung out with Heigo for a while and ate Turkish food
• 3^rd Did nothing of significance as far as I recall... Possibly grilled with the youth at Papsaare
• 4^th Adventure trip to a village called haademeeste (good men) on the bus which consisted of 2 churches, a beach meadow (grass next to the sea), an outdoor stage and a closed museum… evening worship practice followed by a trip to the theater
• 5^th 7am flyer production for soon arriving Swedish young people (more specifically the Friday event) trip to Allikas holiday home at Kastna for a break with Kata, Maarja, Me and Mattheus
• 6^th came back from Kastna midday and got ready for “the place underground” handed out flyers etc (Christian youth meeting) including Swedes from salt and light much fun and lots of new faces
• 7^th Swedish fun and games at the beach with some new kids from the night before followed by winning at football, eating lasagna, watching basketball and eating Indian food… midnight Easter meeting
• 8^th Easter church meeting, sang in worship then left to Tallinn with others to send Maarja to the ferry (Sweden till June)
• 9^th cable and adapter shopping and coffee drinking etc with pets in Pärnu then bussed to Tallinn to return Kristjan his school bag books etc from the day before
• 10^th chilled in Tallinn met up with (soon leaving) Canadian friend Steve ate pizza and watched 24
• 11^th chilled in Tallinn with Kris worked on new bob song watched 300 (which is very good)
• 12^th went to Tallinn city centre to buy some adapters for the sound equipment and get the bus to Pärnu ended up traveling in by lorry as a met a lost German when I was buying my bus ticket so I directed him where to go in the passenger seat… in the evening went to Torva played guitar in worship and preached a little in Estonian 4 young people got saved
  

So basically it’s been pretty eventful and by no means have I written everything I don’t remember 100% and some things I remember very well but they would considerably extend part 1 and completely ruin part 2 it’s been a fun few weeks, packed full with answers to prayers…

To summarize for you incase your memory is as rusty as mine, we had been praying for the place for sometime and it went great bar a few financial issues a total success, making a change to the way we arranged worship finally happened was a big personal answer to prayer as before we didn’t get to practice which is something I surely need… part 2 is all about a massive answer to prayer for me something I have been seeking god for over about the last 5 years… basically one of my most common prayers is for a interesting, eventful and fruitful day and over the last 3 weeks I have had a lot of those…

One new prayer request would be that God would take my finances in hand despite his provision after the loss of my wallet I am starting to feel the squeeze and indeed I am not sure if I will make it home with my relationship with my bank in a healthy condition so please pray that I will use my remaining money wisely and that I will get work as soon as I get back into the UK to start sorting my overdraft…

My reading has fallen a bit as I have been so busy and tired I am keeping up the bible reading but not at the level I would like to be I am not currently on track to finish before I am home...
God Bless
See you in Part 2
Paul

BoB @ Turi - Giving our all

Epic Blog - Part 2 – The exciting part

So this section is as I mentioned all about a huge answer to prayer it is also probably the most significant piece of news you will have ever read on my blog (not such a big achievement but hey it really is big)…

For the last 5 years I have been praying for and waiting for God to give me someone to be with in this life… a partner in crime, a girlfriend and long term… a wife

And in fact about a year ago I was fairly sure he had as I started to have feelings I hadn’t had before for Maarja Allikas (the pastor’s daughter)

4 weeks ago tomorrow me and Maarja went on a long walk and talked for ages we ended up sitting in a castle (children’s playground variety) and talking frankly about how we feel about each other… We decided to pray and seek God until the Wednesday…

3 weeks and 2 days ago we spent the day together and I asked Maarja on a date in the evening, we went out for a meal and walked home in the dark afterwards I don’t think I had ever been as certain about anything before as I was about this and I still feel the same way…

The last 3 weeks have been without a doubt the most incredible of my life, it has been so amazing that its hasn’t felt real at points it’s been like watching a movie... On the second day of our relationship we went out in the middle of the night and sat on the roof while the young people all enjoyed a sauna and swimming in the still icy lake, we sat there and watched the stars together and talked I don’t think I ever saw so many shooting stars or wanted anyone to know me so completely ever before…

The next day me Alari and Katrin (Parents of Maarja, SV Pastor and his wife) went for a long walk to talk about me and Maarja and despite it being fairly intimidating and just the plain difficultly of explaining in Estonian things I could barely express in English it was good, and apparently they were really pleased with me for initiating talking with them… I had been warned before hand by Kata to expect a lot of mention of marriage which there was I am fairly sure they had a bet to see who could mention it the most times in the duration of our conversation… it didn’t bother me..

The relationship so far has been by no stretch of the imagination conventional, we have been living under one roof for quite some time before we started dating (due to me living with her family) more conventionally but with a different reason during the first 2 weeks we spent as much time together as we possible could…
Around Maarja working, us having lots of foreign guests around and me having lots of events which I had to work on or perform at we managed to get quite a bit of time together… and the time we spent together has been awesome we have been on random bus journeys to seaside meadows took a trip to the holiday home to get some space watched shooting stars together and learnt with each other how to be a couple in different situations..
That was until Sunday on Sunday we went to Tallinn after church for the sole purpose of taking Maarja to the ferry to Sweden...
Maarja is in Sweden until June working on a mission ship over there…

In 3 weeks I will be coming home to Derby until September to work and save meaning we could potentially face 6 months without seeing each other right at the beginning of our relationship I am currently trying to get out to Sweden to see Maarja before I come home (despite the financial difficulties mentioned in part 1)... We both miss each other enormously I can honestly say I have never missed anyone like this before, these feelings are so new and I haven’t felt most of them before about anyone…

Despite the forced distance in our relationship at the moment it has been so incredible to think about how easy it would be for us never to have met and indeed for me not to have been shaped into the person I am had I never come to Estonia, Gods plan is mind-blowing we are so similar and I am so glad God has put me with someone who suffers from the same itchy feet as me and wants to go with God to the world on his call and lead someone who is spoiled and cant settle down for a 9to5 life…

Please pray that we both learn from this time apart and that we allow it to strengthen us individually and as a couple and that we keep God at the centre rather than how much we miss each other…

God Bless

Paul

missing her...

Epic Blog - Part 3 – Missing the point

So I don’t normally blog in this style but this blog is all about Easter and more to the point why I haven’t enjoyed Easter very much this year…

Easter this year has felt like a huge celebration of corporately missing the point…

I do appreciate that different people like different styles and that it would be unrealistic to expect myself to enjoy everything every other Christian enjoys simply because of one common thing (albeit a huge “thing”)

Why in charismatic free churches not tied down to traditional... well traditions do we make a big deal over Easter…

Don’t get me wrong I don’t think that the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ are a small thing, I appreciate totally how humungous the message of Easter is and in fact that is the very reason why I think its ridiculous to have one time each year to celebrate together and remind each other (over and over) than Christ is risen…

Yes granted He is risen but He was risen at Christmas as well and at any given day of the year for somewhere in the region of the last 2000years (give or take)

The fact that Christ died for me (and you) and is risen should be (in my opinion) the thing that fires us up EVERYDAY not just at Easter…

It shouldn’t just fire us up it should set us apart the fact that we have been set free should be the thing that defines us as Christians it should be what we are known for as apposed to the very visible gathering together in an almost mournful manner at specific dates dubiously ordained in a way that appears as the opposite of freedom..

Maybe you had a brilliant Easter and I don’t want to make you down or worry you about anything if you enjoy Easter and all that it entails then great but it feels so wrong to me inside out that I have to vent it to keep myself sane…

Since I am free I think that next year I might avoid Easter I might find myself a cave to hide in while people quietly contemplate that which should rightly be their every thought, that which should sustain them and inspire them everyday… That which should excite them… I will pray that maybe it will excite them so much that they break with the tradition and exercise the freedom that they accepted into their lives when they accepted that the price has been paid and go out and live differently EVERYDAY live free… free from the man made tradition of having a set time to celebrate the masterpiece or our salvation…

But you know… whatever

xxooXoOxXo

I know this may seem negative and I really don’t want it to be... I may not seem it but genuinely from the bottom of my heart I am very very very happy and all the little things over Easter which rubbed me up the wrong way are little things…

Maybe someone wise could explain to me why free Christians should be so institutionalized so traditional and why the pillar of our religion is more important at one time each year because frankly I clearly just don’t get it…

God Bless

Paul

p.s. for those of you interesting in such things and for some light relief happy easter in estonian in Head Munadepuha translated literall Good Eggs Holy hehe

Church/midnight/Easter *sigh*